nobody knows i dream about it.
this is my imagination.
—
more than anything, i absolutely hate feeling numb.
it’s like time just keeps going by and nothing changes.
the second hand on the clock seems to speed while my emotions are as stagnant as the summer air.
i’ve got some friends & they help me to forget temporarily,
but there’s this sense of emptiness inside and i don’t know what i have to do to make it go away.
i’ve tried and tried to make things right but it always ends up falling apart in my hands.
maybe this time i’ll try creating something just to know that i have the power to destroy it myself: i am the one with competence; i am the one who decides on letting things fall apart.
maybe i have to try finding beauty in the unknown,
exactly what i fear the most…